As the Shul Turns – Episode 111

So there’s Shirley sitting on the veranda… asking me why I didn’t go to the Presidental Kaddush.

So I told her.   I told her that no one likes me, no one wants me there, so I stay in my corner.

Now she knows this, because she is in that batch.   She doesn’t like me.  Most of them wish I’d never crossed the door of the synagogue.    That I know it, that I admit it, probably will lead to a lot of conversations.

Possibly next week there will be the false smiles and the ‘how are you?’



As The Shul Turns – Episode 110



The horrible Mollusk has been replaced by Ari, an Israeli.   He’s easier on the eyes.   One of the first acts was to get rid of the Hippo.

The Hippo has been in the wallow forever.  I don’t know what one of the male Directors she owned, but whomever it was no longer has the power to maintain her.

It has taken months to get her out and to run the place they popped in my old ‘friend’ Shirley.

Shirley has not been able to move in, first because the Hippo wouldn’t move out, and secondly, that she left the place in such filth.

I did a bit of explore and when it comes to the tag line; ‘unrentable’ as she tried to paste on me when I left A1,  her rooms truly are.

Hippo had a deep freeze, a Fridge, and Air conditioner which she ran all the time.  The electricity bill was enormous.   But what did Hippo care?  It was all free to her.

The idiots on the Board paid her to live free and do nothing.

Shirl is trying to figure out the ‘books’ that Hippo kept.   Further, there were letters that had been sent to the address for the various tenants which the Hippo never delivered to them… never even had delivered.

Shirl hired a painter, and bought first quality paint.  Unless what Mollusk used to paint the other rooms.

Everything in Hippo’s wallow is defective.   One assumes she made sure of that before she left.

In a way, I’m glad I’m not Shirl.  For it’s going to be a lot of work for her and she’s more likely to get into conflict with them and march off.

Buying the pop corn from now.

As The Shul Turns 109


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The Friday Night I attended Shul; that was Yom Kippur eve.   I spent the day alone, and it was, again an ‘easy fast’.

The next holiday came on Wednesday and I went and spoke with Ratty.

Ratty has always produced a divide within me.   I don’t think he likes me at all.   I don’t think he wants me around… yet on another level,  he is accepting.

The obnoxious nature of Paul Molluck is over whelming.  When he is not present there is a lifting of the weight… the same with Pharaoh.

Pharaoh had taken over every aspect of Jewish Life, from genealogy to overseeing holidays, to hiring staff.  As he was enamoured of his own brilliance, he was the easiest guy in the world to play.   Everyone he thought ‘inferior’ ripped him off, and the members of the Congregation, seethed in hatred.

As Hand Puppet has half a brain, and Ratty is his abused nephew, there was no real confrontation.

Then Molluck.

This is a guy who came onto the Board with the desire to destroy Pharaoh and everyone and thing associated with him.

As easily taken as Pharaoh, the so-called helper would arrive not at 8 or 9, but after 10, do mostly nothing, leave before 4.

The Hippo continued to do absolutely nothing at all whatsoever and she ‘is leaving’ and has been for three years.  She’s still here.

The painters and plumbers got their take, and to attempt to alert him is met by instant slap down.

Recently, Pharaoh asked if the Congregation would take part in the Herzl awards.  Because he suggested it, they decided not to.   Pharaoh said he would go up to N.Y. to represent Ka-Ka, so he was told that he could NOT represent the Congregation.

One can understand the anger at Pharaoh for the hiring of C.G.  but the hatred, brewed over decades, now pours out so that he is not wanted at the synagogue.

I am thinking of making aaliyah.

Before Yom Kippur

It is going to be one of those times when I have to consider whether I want to be in synagogue with some of the worst people I have ever met in my life; who will ‘play’ the pious Jew, or if I will stay home and try to purify my soul on my own.

Last year, I stayed home.  I fasted and it was, remarkably, an ‘easy’ fast.    I followed the services on the Internet, and I felt more in shul here, alone, that I would among those people.

In a way, I am sorry that I ever encountered them.

Growing up, I had been connected to those people with souls and charity, who tried to live a certain way.   I learned so much at home, so much from the neighbours, without realising it, so that when I am exposed to these false Jews it is like being an anthropologist studying some peculiar sect.


AS The Shul Turns — Episode 108


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The Presidency of Paul Mollusk was ending.  Of all those I had seen, he was the worst.  Not that Hand Puppet or Pharaoh weren’t repulsive and useless, they just weren’t a swallow from a puke like Mollusk.

He was an ugly overweight brat of a man who makes you think of Donald Trump.

Mollusk acted as if he knew everything but was quite stupid for a human.  He was easily played by those he considered beneath him.

Although the Hippo was supposed to leave about four years ago, and he continually announced she was going, she was ensconced in her wallow getting fatter each day.

For no intelligent reason he decided to waste  a lot of money on the Home.   Rooms that didn’t need painting were painted with the cheapest paint. The windows and doors done with paint that should not be used indoors.

Each room took five days to paint.

This is because the contractor and workmen knew how stupid and useless Mollusk was.

No one would speak against the workmen because they liked them. As most people only knew Mollusk by sight and found him rude, snobby and every possible bad trait ever attributed to Jews, they were pleased with the actions.  It was deserved.

Many of those who lived at the Home had long lists of complaints; locks that were broken, fans that fell from the ceiling, pipes that leaked, which never received any attention.

The rooms had once been painted attractive colours, now they were a cheap thin white, which began to flake after two weeks, so that the same places were painted again and again, dragging out the work for week after week.

This was the handiwork of Mollusk who hated Pharaoh and took every opportunity to enter conflict with him.

All of those at the Shul were failures.  Stupid people who had inherited money and businesses and were driving them into the ground.

C.G. was the fatal blow of Pharaoh, although the others were partially responsible for that disaster.

As the Congregation needs a Scorn, someone to humiliate, insult, ignore and take up the anti of their every pro, Pharaoh gains the post.

The new President can not be worse the Mollusk, so it doesn’t matter which one takes the position.


The Feeding Tree


The Jewish Community of Kaka is overseen by a board of the pompous incompetent.  The style of Pharaoh has been adopted,  and the inferiority of those who hold office makes any factual piece seem comedy.

The wasting of money on unnecessary expense is matched by the refusal to spend on what is necessary.

For example, the Hippo who runs the place has been playing those who manage the Jewish Home for years.

Over the decades, she has rented rooms and kept the money in her pocket, claiming the rooms were empty, if asked.

The School ran for over a decade, unknown to those who were ‘in charge’.   When the School was exposed and rental had to be officially collected,  hurting her pocket, she rented out rooms in the house she occupied.  The cash stays in her pocket.

She does absolutely nothing at all whatsoever, and has done so for years.  She has free house, free gas, free water, free light, free internet, free cable, and a salary and allowance and ‘vacation pay’.

She may be ugly today, but in the earlier days she had her allure for the mostly male board.

For the past four years she doesn’t leave her room, and has installed members of her family.  Her house is cleaned by the helper, paid for by the Board, and her clothes are washed by the helper, paid for by the Board.

Recently, the President, a fat obnoxious blob of a man, Paul Mollusk, decided the Home needed to be painted.  Assuming it would be ’empty’ in August such time was set.  But the home was not empty.

The first tenant learned on Wednesday that her room would be painted tomorrow.  She was moved into another room. On Thursday the painting of her room started.  The room was painted, Thursday, Friday and into Saturday and Sunday.

Painting of another room began on Friday, into Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.  The corridor was painted on Friday and Saturday and would be painted again and again over the next month.

The Policy seems to be, take five days to paint a room, and do no more than two rooms during that period.

This slowness and long breaks is due to the understanding of the stupidity of Mollusk who has not ability to manage anything.


Pigthing, the helper,  spent every day sitting and babbling with the painters, and stealing what she can from the rooms.

Pigthing will steal.  If you see her, she will beg.  If you refuse, she’ll steal it anyway. She can’t be fired.

Because she is a treacherous Pigthing,  when the Hippo wanted Pears and there were none on the tree she claimed the painters stole all of the pears, which had Hippo complaining to Mollusk.

The painters turned on Pigthing who is so stupid she can’t make the connections.  She loses companionship of the painters to please Hippo who would sell her for spare parts if asked.



An Answer to a Question I Hadn’t Asked



Every one knew that Ratty was unfaithful to his wife.

There’s the long story about how he was sent from Kaka to another country so that he’d find the Nice Jewish Girl, but instead came home with a Catholic from another place like Kaka.

We all assumed, yeah, that’s why Pharaoh and the rest of his fandamily were so negative about him.

We assumed that there was this kind of pressure, guilt, name what you will, so he dabbled in easy quickies and drank and all the rest of it.

It wasn’t much of a discussion, wasn’t provoker of much interest.

The other day there was this idea to honour the elder members of the Congregation in one big ceremony at a fancy place.

Ratty wanted everyone to come but I didn’t have a lift so he said he’d collect me.

The function was to begin at Six Thirty and we should all be on spot by Six and he’d pick me up at Five Thirty.

I was ready at Five Twenty, expecting him to be there when I stepped out, but he wasn’t.  Then it was Five Thirty, then Five Forty, and I wondered if something hadn’t happened, so rang Ratty.

He said he was on his way.

Ratty pulled up some minutes past Six with his wife.

Ratty is never late, he’s always a bit early.  That’s why I was ready early.   Ratty’s a guy who likes to chat and joke and is interested.

The Robot who collected me was silent and Mrs. Ratty ignored me.  She went along with her conversation to Ratty.

She was making pronouncements, she was making statements.   I was totally excluded.  The rudeness was remarkable.  It was not as if I had been invited and Ratty was my willing driver, it was as if I were some bum picked up on the road side.

When we reached the venue and Ratty was going to park, Mrs. Ratty told him where and how.  She ran the show.

When I got out of the car she walked in her direction and I followed and we entered.  I made sure to move in a direction opposite Mrs. Ratty.

I sat with others and had a good enough time, and then the place began to thin.  I went to Ratty who was on his own.

Mrs. Ratty had made ‘other plans’ and Ratty was to join her elsewhere.

Ratty drove me home, and instead of waiting until I got in, partially dumped me off so as to race back to where his Master demanded.

There is no ponder why Ratty eats traffe or why hates to go home.   I wouldn’t even want to sit near Mrs. Ratty for ten minutes.

To say she is obnoxious, to say she is cold, would not capture the complete lack of any and all redemptive qualities expected in a human being.

So now I know why Ratty hates to go home.   Now I know why Ratty drinks.  Now I know why Ratty has affairs.

Looking Around


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It is the kind of situation that Jews, real Jews would consider upsetting.  But in Kaka,  it is standard.

It is standard for parents to, on particular free food excursions, drag their godless children with them.  These are kids who not only don’t know, but don’t care.

There’s a difference between someone brought into a House of Worship in a strange religion to have a certain curiosity.  To want to know.  What is this… what does that mean, why are people standing?  Why ….?

Then there is the child who doesn’t have the least interest and is being forced to stand in a place they don’t consider any more spiritual than a bus stop.

The children of the those who attend the Synagogue in Kaka are not merely unaware, they don’t care.  They know nothing, and they don’t want to know.

This is because their parents know nothing and don’t want to know.

There’s Pharaoh and his Shiksa.  He walks in and out to talk on his cell phone.  Doesn’t matter if the Ark is open or closed or people are reciting the Shema.

There’s the Garbage Truck, an Israeli… the guy who replaced my friend at Zim.  He walks in late, ignoring the fact the Ark is open not because he doesn’t know better but because he considers the Shul a bus stop.

There’s crazy Tanya shrieking into the Mic, being her usual repulsive self, a recent convert,  with all the bluster of someone who only knows from her head, not her heart.

I stand in my place and try to block out what is going on around me.  Trying not to be distracted by fidgeting children, stomping Garbage Trucks, and the rest of the sludge.

Earlier I heard about the ‘caretaker’ who refused to open the Shul.   I know all about the Jewish Home, which is a kind of mix of zoo and women’s prison.

Sure, if there was a proper board in place, the Hippo would be gone, I would be running the Home, the Pig Thing helper would be replaced by someone who actually works.

But this will Never Happen.


As The Shul Turns — Episode 107

There will be no Chanukah celebration at the Shul.   This is because the First night falls on Xmas eve.  The Jews of Kaka will be going to their Xmas parties.

At first the idea was to have the functions at the Shul.   Saturday, 1st Night, Sunday a service, but this would interfere in the Xmas celebrations of the Jews of Kaka.

So this is scraped.

The Jews of Kaka have their Friday / Saturday service as usual.

The Jews of Kaka have a ‘Board’ which runs everything.  The persons chosen are totally worthless.  They do nothing, are interested in nothing, and however it was in 2000 it is today.

Trying to speak with any of them is pointless.  They listen to no one, save the various goys they may hire.   They do nothing; so it takes over half a year for the backdoor to be fixed and three months for the ‘helper’ (the laziest person in existence who, pardon the expression, ‘works’ at the Jewish home) to return the key she took of spite.


As Jewish As a Ham Sandwiche



A famous Israeli writer makes the point that Jews only survive when they are oppressed. As soon as the pressure is removed Jewish communities fall apart.  Jews drift away.

People always argue with him, because they don’t like hearing the truth.  They pretend they don’t know that Jews prefer to fight against each other than strangers.

In Kaka there is the Jewish Home.  One Jew lives there.  The rooms are rented out to the kind of trashy gals that wouldn’t be invited to anything requiring a smatter of class.

The home is run by a hugely fat Hippo who does absolutely nothing at all whatsoever but is given free room and board plus a salary.

For years a school ran there, unknown to the Board of Directors.  When it was learned, the School was moved to the largest apartment.

Over the years the electricity bill is made up of about 50% of the Hippos usage, the tenants of the Jewish home, the other 50%.  That is because the Hippo has a huge fridge, a deep freeze an air conditioner and a pile of other things she runs all the time.  Because she can.

The Board changes and attacks are made on previous Board Members, but nothing at all whatsoever is done to change what is.

If one simply appointed the Jew who lives there to monitor, gave a free room and nothing more, the savings would be enormous.  But to appoint a Jew, to hire a Jew is a problem for the Jews of Kaka.

The Jews of Kaka spend their time fighting against each other, because that is what happens when there is no oppression.

The Jews of Kaka may visit the synagogue then go and have their roast pork.  They’ll go and have affairs with non-Jews.  They’ll lie and cheat and do what they please. And if they get a chance to help an other Jew they relish their ability to deny.

So the electricity in one kitchen needs fixing.  The back door and gate in the other are collapsing,  who cares?   Fight over who said what, fight over who suggests what, and spend money keeping a Hippo fat.